Lisbon Conspiracy & Wong


I have bought 4 umbrellas since I have arrived in Lisbon. Nobody says ” don’t forget your umbrella ” when you leave a place. You see there must be a gigantic second hand umbrella market and they are making billions. It is most likely very cunningly organized crime activity. It’s very clever really. You can buy your own umbrella back at the bottom of the street because they know for sure that you are not going to walk back up that mountainous steep street that your 4 by 4 can’t even climb. It is obviously pissing with rain. I was even snowed on yesterday. Interpol needs to address this.

I decided I needed a quality massage (no happy happy) so my hotel booked me into this ritual massage place. I walked there in the pissing rain with no umbrella. Those thieves. Mrs Wong welcomed me and took me to my masseuse Mr Wong, just kidding it was a Miss Wong or something similar. I confirmed with hand signals that I wanted an hour and a half massage. What an awesome massage and hard to explain really cause I fell asleep within 5 mins of her starting. She woke me up with a tantric bell or something and offered me water. She then disappeared for at least 15 mins and I just waited thinking this was just intermission or something. I mean she had just started and maybe she needed a poo break. Shit. She came back and broke it to me that the massage was over. I couldn’t believe it. It had only been 5 minutes. I suggested I pay for 5 minutes but I was informed that I should rather go and play in the rain.

I got my haircut which cost me a lot cause of all my hairy bits and they had to shave my armpits as well. I threw that silly comb away. It was poor quality rubbish and it didn’t style my hair properly anyway.

My thought for the day is. Be careful of the Wongs cause two Wongs do not make a right.

You see, no umbrellas

image image

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The Investigator © Copyright 2022. All rights reserved.